


We Never Left

by jlshadowstar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 12:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5967765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlshadowstar/pseuds/jlshadowstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After dying in an explosion, Hanji learns that there are some people watching over Levi</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Never Left

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the events that took place in Chapter 78 of the manga. So spoiler alert!

The last thing I remember is a bright flash. A bright flash and a burning pain; and then nothing. My eyes are open, but everything’s blurry. I can’t make out a thing.

“...Uad Leader....” I hear a feminine voice say. I squint my eyes and can faintly make out a shadow standing before me. Who is it? Levi? 

“Levi is that you?” I ask, “Try to find my glasses, I can’t see anything.”

“...Squad Leader....” the same voice says. The sound goes in and out, the blast must’ve messed with my hearing too.

“I can’t understand you,” I admit, “Try speaking up.”

“....Just...stay calm,” I’m instructed, “Things will...become...clearer....”

I take a deep breath and try to do what I’m told. I don’t know who’s talking to me but they seem to know the situation. my body relaxes as much as I can force it to. After a few minutes my visions starts to focus and I start to make out the figure before me. A short girl with ginger-brownish hair and amber eyes....it’s not possible.

“Petra?” I inquire. It’s the only thing I can bring myself to say at the moment; the girl flashes a smile at me.

“It’s been awhile Squad Leader,” she says to me. My vision finishes adjusting and three more shadows more focus in behind her, taking the shape of three men.

“Auruo,” I say, “Erd, Gunter...”

My voice trails off, how is this happening? They were killed by the Female Titan a long time ago.

“This doesn’t make sense,” I tell them, “You all died. You can’t be here. It’s just not possible.”

“But it is,” a masculine voice says and two figures step out from behind Squad Levi. A tall man with silver-blonde hair and a short girl with crimson red hair. It can’t be.

“Farlan,” I say, acknowledging their presence, “Isabel...”  
“It’s been a very long time,” Farlan says. My mind reels, everything about this moment is impossible, there’s only one explanation.

“I must be dreaming,” I say and everyone looks at each other.

“I wish you were,” Farlan said.

“I have to be,” I respond, firmly believing in that statement, “It’s the only way you can all be here with me.”

“Is it though?” Farlan asks me.

“Has to be,” I answer. I’m positive that this is a dream.

“Squad Leader,” Petra says reaching out to me, placing a hand over mine. Confusion clouds my mind, as I look at her. Sadness and sorrow are written all over her face. With a glance around, I notice everyone else has the same somber expression on. Why do they seem so sad?  
“Well,” Farlan says, trying to find his train of thought, “There is an explanation as to why you can suddenly see us, but there’s no easy way to explain. So I’m just gonna come out and say it. You’re dead.”

Horror cuts through me like a knife. Dead? No, I can’t be.

“No,” I say in a small voice, trying to process what Farlan just told me. I can’t be dead, can I?

“I’m so sorry,” Petra says, catching my attention, tears rising up in her eyes, “It’s not easy to hear.”

I look around trying to find something, anything to prove I’m still alive. I notice a glint of light and follow it to where my glasses are on my face; which is lying three feet from me. My head, completely detached from my body. Proof that I am dead; as Farlan had said. That blast must’ve killed me.

“But,” I say catching everyone’s attention. “Why am I still here?”

“To move on a soul has to acknowledge their ready to move on to the afterlife,” Farlan explains, “It’s pretty easy. All that’s required is accepting the fact that you’re dead, then you can say you’re ready anytime and the door to the afterlife will open for you.”

“It’s that easy?” I muse. The thought of moving on crosses my mind, but, something’s bugging me.

“If it’s that easy, why have none of you moved on?” I ask. 

“Because we don’t want to yet,” Isabel pipes in before Farlan gets the chance to answer.

“You don’t want to?” I say, confused. “Why not?”

“We’re waiting for someone,” Petra tells me.

“Petra,” Farlan says, cutting her off, “Please, allow me.”

Petra nods and falls silent.

“First let me tell a little about how me and Isabel died,” Farlan tells me, “It was during that first trip beyond the walls we took with the Scout Regiment. We lost track of our Squad in the rain, we couldn’t see anything. We tried our best to stick together and ride through the storm, we had no way of knowing that there were so many Titans around us already. I went first, then Isabel, I won’t bore you with the details of how we died exactly, but when we did we woke up the same way you did. It took a while for our senses to come back, when they did we realized we were alone. At that time we hadn’t really processed we were dead, we just thought the Titan dropped us. It wasn’t until Levi came back that we realized what had happened. Isabel noticed first, since it was half of her head that Levi found. He found what was left of me not far from her. He started screaming and crying, it was hard to see him like that. So we approached him to try to calm him down. That was when we realized something. Although we can see them, they can’t see us. Levi had no idea we were right there with him, and there was no way to tell him that.”

Sadness fills my chest with ice as Farlan talks about what had happened. It was right after he lost them that me and Levi started talking. 

“We watched as he cried, not wanting to leave him alone,” Isabel says, picking up where Farlan left, “It was then we realized that we didn’t want to leave without him. So we decided to wait. We followed him everywhere, even if he was never aware of our presence. Me and Farlan watched Big Brother for years as he made his way through the ranks of the Scout Regiment. We were so happy for him when he got named Captain. Things went on like that for a long time, until about a year ago now. Which was when Squad Levi encountered the Female Titan.”

Isabel shoots Petra a look, cueing that it was her turn to speak. Petra takes the cue and continues the story.

“Our deaths happened within a span of a few minutes,” Petra says, “In the blink of an eye, we were all dead. Also, like you, we were really disoriented at first. I think I can speak for all of us when I say that it was a little scary. When we got our bearings, it was as Levi was leaving the scene. We didn’t see how he reacted to our deaths, but Farlan and Isabel have filled in that blank for us already. All of us noticed them standing with Levi and called out to them as they turned to follow him. They were surprised to see us and figured we had already moved on. They told us what had happened and why they were around Levi. After much thought and debate, all of us agreed on one thing. We wanted to stay and look after Levi. So we stayed with Farlan and Isabel. All this time, we’ve seen everything that Levi has. We’re all well aware of the identities of the Colossal and armored Titans; as well as the coup you guys led against the king. We’ve always been here.”

Petra stops talking and I take a moment to process everything. All this time, Levi’s friends have been watching over him. He always thought me and Erwin were all he had left, that they were gone. But no one ever left him, tears start to fill my eyes.

“Thank you,” I find myself saying, much to everyone’s surprise.

“Why are you thanking us,” Farlan asks me, “We’re all here of our own decision.”

“For caring about him,” I explain as tears start to run down my cheeks, “For not leaving. Levi’s my closest friend, I’ve always been terrified of something happening to me and Levi being alone. But he wouldn’t have been alone, he’s never been alone.”

“We understand if you don’t want to but...” Farlan says, “If you want, you can wait with us.”

I think for a little while. If I stay, I have no idea how long I’ll be here. It could be a few hours, it could be years. There’s no way of knowing. But I don’t want to leave my friend behind.

“I’d like that,” I respond and follow everyone to find Levi.

 

_From that moment on, I never left Levi’s side. I was there to watch him and the Scout Regiment win against the Titans and take back Shiganshina. Humanity celebrated the victory with a festival that lasted for almost a week. Erwin was promoted to head of all the military branches a year later when Darius Zackley retired. Levi was given Erwin’s position as Commander of the Scout Regiment. It took a while for him to get used to, but he quickly adapted to the demands of the position. After a while, he entered a relationship with Eren Jaeger, something me and his Squadmates were hoping would happen. They had an unspoken bond, anyone could see that, although their relationship caused a bit of an uproar within the walls. People were concerned that because of Eren’s abilities, if he wished to, Eren could easily lead a Titan attack against humanity again if they wished. The main concern was that Levi would take his lover’s side if such an event occurred._ _Those fears were quickly dismissed, Eren only used his abilities to kill other Titans and help humanity rebuild. There was no reason to suspect Eren for treason._

_ After three years of being together, Levi proposed. The proposal was beautiful, it brought me, as well as Petra, to tears. Levi took Eren to the ocean, the one place Eren had always dreamed of seeing, and found a cliff that overlooked the sea. He brought Eren there at sunset, fireflies lit up around the sky. He took Eren’s hand in his as they overlooked the endless sea. _

_ “Eren,” Levi said, “I can’t even begin to describe the way you make me feel. I feel like if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to paint an accurate picture for you. All I know is I love you. And I never want to lose you. I want you to never leave my side, which is why,” _

_ Levi paused and got down on one knee, Eren’s free hand flew up to cover his mouth as tears rose up in his eyes _

_ “I want you to marry me,” Levi finished. Simple, but he succeeded in getting his feelings across. Eren didn’t even hesitate to answer. He said yes, and a few months later, they had the ceremony in the same place Levi proposed. Everyone enjoyed the ceremony, and due to events that took place at the reception, Eren’s friend Mikasa ended up pregnant. She had apparently gotten knocked up by a friend of hers and Eren’s who was also in the Scout Regiment; Jean. Eren kicked Jean’s ass for not being more careful, but let up when Jean said he would make things right and help support Mikasa and the baby. Eren and Levi also agreed to help Mikasa with the baby.  _

_ Mikasa ended up giving birth to a healthy baby boy. They named him Bryson. After babysitting Bryson a few times while Mikasa and Jean tried to make a relationship work, Eren and Levi decided they wanted to have a child. For obvious reasons, they adopted a two year old little girl whose parents were killed in a mugging gone wrong. Her name was Carla, which Eren loved since that was his mother’s name. _

_ I watched as Levi and Eren raised their little girl with more love than I ever would’ve guessed Levi had the capacity for. Once she reached age five, however something interesting happened. I was watching her read a book to Levi, when Levi dozed off. The others had gone off to follow Eren, as he was planning some anniversary surprise for Levi and they wanted to know what is was.I had no interest on snooping in Levi and Eren’s love life so I stayed behind. I went to leave, only to hear a little voice talk to me. _

_ “Who are you?” _

_ I went rigid, she’s not dead, how was she able to see me? _

_ “Me?” I ask innocently. _

_ “Yes, why’re you here?” Carla asked me. _

_ “I’m waiting for someone,” I told her. _

_ “Who are you waiting for?” _

_ “A friend. A friend I haven’t spoken to in a long time.” _

_ “When are they coming?” _

_ “I don’t know.” _

_ “Have you been waiting long?” _

_ “I have, but I think I’m gonna be waiting a bit longer,” I said with a smile.  _

_ “Well, since you’re gonna be waiting a while, do you wanna be friends?” she asked me. _

_ “I’d like that very much.” _

_ “I’m Carla, what’s your name?” _

_ I went to give her my name but stopped. If she went to Levi saying she’s been playing with someone named Hanji, it would upset him. _

_ “I’m Zoe,” I tell Carla, “It’s nice to meet you.” _

_ After I finish speaking, Levi wakes back up. Carla looked up at her father and asked if he’d like to meet her new friend. He asked what she was talking about and she dragged him over to stand in front of me. _

_ “Daddy this is Zoe, my new friend,” she told him as he looked at me, even though all he saw was empty space, “Zoe say hi to my daddy.” _

_ I said hi, even knowing Levi wouldn’t hear me. Something in Levi’s mind clicked and he pretended to shake my hand. _

_ “It’s nice to meet you Zoe,” he said, humoring his daughter. At that moment, Eren walked in the doorway. _

_ “Levi, who’re you talking to?” he asked. _

_ “He’s talking to my new friend!” Carla told Eren excitedly as Levi approached him. _

_ “It seems Carla has an imaginary friend,” Levi whispered to Eren low enough so that she wouldn’t hear him. _

_ “Does she now?” Eren said in an amused tone as he turned to Carla, “Well, you’ll have to play with your friend tomorrow. It’s almost time for bed. _

_ “Ok,” she said before turning to me. “I’ll talk to you more tomorrow, ok?” _

_ “Sounds like a plan,” I said to her as I gave a little wave. _

_ “I’ll see you tomorrow Zoe!” she said excitedly as she followed Eren and Levi out of the room. As soon as they had left, Farlan, Isabel and the others came in. _

_ “What was that about,” Auruo asked me. _

_ “She could see me,” I explained, “So I told her my name is Zoe and that we’d be friends. I don’t know how she could see me though.” _

_ After that Farlan told me that him and Isabel had been seen by kids around the same age before and that adults would tell the kids they were imagining things. The way I see it once at a certain age, kids are more perspective of spirits. For about four years, I continued visiting Carla. We would play house and have tea parties. She would tell me about the silly things her dads would do, about how she wanted to be a princess when she grew up. After a while, the others revealed themselves to her, also under fake names, and would join in on our games and discussions. Until, one day, shortly after her ninth birthday, for some reason she couldn’t see us anymore. We tried talking to her, but would get no response from her. That was when we learned that after a certain age, children lost their perceptivity to spirits. _

_ That same year is when Eren got sick. Apparently his Titan-shifting abilities took more of a toll on his body than anyone could’ve predicted. Doctors tried, but the damage was irreversible and over the span of two years, Eren slowly died. We were there, of course, when it happened. _

_ “Eren,” I said after his heart gave out at such a young age. _

_ “Hanji?” he said in confusion, the same state I had been in when I learned of my fate. We took the time to explain how and why we were all there. He was more accepting than I had been, although seeing Levi and Carla crying by his dead body was a little hard on him. Eren was given the same options as me, stay and wait for Levi, or move on to the afterlife. Not to anyone’s surprise, he decided to to stay. _

_ The following ten years were filled with us watching Carla grow into an adult; you would’ve thought her and Eren were related by blood. She looked so much like him. At age 22, Carla ended up marrying Bryson, who was 20 at the time. Levi walked her down the aisle and Eren cried during the ceremony. After moving to start her life with her husband, Levi started visiting our graves frequently. At least three or four times a week. It made my heart ache. He missed us, that much was obvious, but there was no way to show him we were still there with him. Carla and Bryson still visited Levi every Sunday for dinner. Things went on like this for five years.By now Levi had aged noticeably. His hair turned gray and wrinkles lined his face. He was getting old, there was no other way to put it. Something was bound to happen eventually.  _

_ Levi suffered a heart attack after Carla’s 27th birthday party. The cause was unclear but it put him in the hospital. We all stood by his bedside, Eren approached and placed a hand on Levi’s. He knew full well that Levi wouldn’t feel the contact but it was something he still wished to do. The doctors were running tests trying to figure out what had happened and what could be done to prevent another one. Carla and Bryson sat beside the bed, waiting to hear any news on her father’s condition. Suddenly, Levi’s heart monitor dropped and made a long beeping noise. Carla shot up and called for help, doctors filled the room. But I knew, there would be no stopping it this time. This was it. _

 

Levi stirs on the ground next to me, not as the old man I had seen in the hospital but as the young man I knew him as. His senses focus and he starts to come to.

“Levi,” I say to catch his attention.

“Hanji?” he says, disbelief edging his tone,as he looks around. As his senses return, he notices everyone else.

“Eren?” he says as his lover came into focus.

“It’s good to see you again baby,” Eren tells Levi plants a gentle kiss on his cheek as the others come into focus.

“Petra, Erd, Gunter, Auruo,” he named off and they all responded at the sound of their name. “Farlan. Isabel.”

“We missed you Big Brother,” Isabel says as she pulls him in for a hug. Farlan says nothing but places a hand on Levi’s shoulder.

“This isn’t possible,” Levi says, “You’re all-”

Levi stops his sentence as he catches sight of his body on the hospital bed. Carla had buried her face into Bryson’s chest and started crying loudly.

“So I died,” he muses, understanding what had happened without needing an explanation. 

“But,” he continues, “What’re you all doing here?”

“We never left,” Farlan tells him, “Even after death, none of us left your side. We were waiting for you.”

“Waiting for me?” he says.

“It didn’t feel right for any of us to cross over without you,” Petra piped in.

“But now you’re here,” Eren tells him, “We can all move on together.”

“Are you ready Levi?” I ask him, holding out a hand.

“Yeah,” he says after a moment. He takes my hand and I pull him up. At Levi’s words, a white light appears in front of us.

“This is it,” Farlan says. “We’re finally going.”

“I wonder what it’ll be like,” Isabel responds.

“Whatever’s on the other side, at least we’ll all be together,” I say as we all turn towards the light. We start to approach it when Levi stops.

“What’s wrong?” I ask as we all stop. Levi says nothing but continues to watch Carla.

“There’s nothing else we can do for her,” Eren tells him, “She’s grown into a fine woman but we’ve done our job. The rest is up to Bryson.”

“Yeah,” Levi says distractedly.

“We’ll see her again one day,” Eren tells Levi, holding out his hand, “Are you coming?”

“Yeah,” he responds taking his husband’s hand. We all walk into the light and feel it engulf us completely. After years of waiting it’s finally over. We may not know what’s on the other side, but we’re all together. And in the end, that’s all any of us wanted.


End file.
